tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-211864992011-09-19T21:59:10.327-04:00jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.comBlogger491100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-18719415970013804022007-04-12T21:43:00.000-04:002008-12-11T19:29:05.567-05:00

cars have inheritedour stereotypes,may god help us,Via NYTimes:RON GEREN, an actor in Los Angeles, commutes to auditions and jobs throughout Southern California in a sleek black Mazda MX-5 Miata convertible. But for a recent date with a woman, he rented a Cadillac Escalade because he was so used to friends saying his Miata is “gay.”The article goes on to explain that for dates with Predicons,

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-12681032414446767512007-04-12T21:07:00.000-04:002008-12-11T19:29:05.883-05:00

Well, it looks like all of you loyal readers made it happen. After being dropped from MSNBC's television simulcast, CBS radio has fired Don Imus. No major news outlets are crediting you all, but they are probably just scared. As if the point hasn't become moot, BBC explains, in stupifying detail, what happened:Mr. Imus called the mostly black members of the Rutgers University women's basketball

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176345154825726762007-04-11T20:45:00.000-04:002007-04-11T22:40:51.983-04:00

1. A new nationwide mandate in India will require all female civil servants to "write down their 'detailed menstrual history and history of LMP [last menstrual period],'" in order to more fully assess their health. Although the Indian government doesn't come right out and say it, the connotations are obvious: India wants their women to do their part in the war on terror. Are YOUR neighbor's

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176246927242884632007-04-10T18:56:00.000-04:002007-04-10T19:29:06.436-04:00

It looks like Tony Snow's shoes are formidable ones indeed. When asked about a time-table for exit in Iraq, fill-in White House Spokeswoman Dana Perino stated that setting an exact time would be akin to sending a "save-the-date card to the Iraqis." Never one to improperly cite her stand-up routine in the middle of a press conference, Perino admitted, "I stole that from Don Stewart."It's good that

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176239381325329942007-04-10T16:49:00.000-04:002007-04-10T17:09:41.336-04:00

Sort of a neat little article in the paper today about the 'complexity of sexual desire.' It seemed innocuous enough, maybe a little quirky in the choice of responses to the question 'what is sexual desire?'Via NYTimes:“There’s a little bit of adrenaline, a puffing of the chest, a bit of anticipatory tongue motion,” said a divorced lawyer in his late 40s.“I feel relaxed, warm and comfortable,”

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176225045432927022007-04-10T12:21:00.000-04:002007-04-10T17:45:39.983-04:00

It's noon on Tuesday, and that can only mean one thing around these parts: MORBIDLY DEPRESSING NEWS HOUR.1. Mark Langford, the head of a Manchester, England company who fired all 2,500 of his employees via text message was killed last night in a car crash in Marbella, Spain. The text message, which was the only information the employees at Langford's "The Accident Group" (HA!) company received

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176151736661468152007-04-09T16:06:00.000-04:002007-04-09T16:56:51.606-04:00

last week, while discussing the Women's NCAA championship game on his radio show, Imus in the Morning, Imus described the Rutgers team in this way: "that's some nappy-headed ho's there."This doesn't necessarily strike me as odd. Let's look at a list of Imus' previous victims:PBS anchor Gwen Ifill - "cleaning lady"sports columnist Bill Rhoden - "New York Times quota hire"Palestinians - "stinking

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176077481354564212007-04-08T19:00:00.000-04:002007-04-08T20:22:28.183-04:00

YAY! IT'S THE 8th ANNUAL EASTER HELLRIDE NEWS ROUNDUP! YAY! ALL THE EASTER NEWS THAT YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR GRANDMA ABOUT OR SHE'LL CRY!1. New Zealand hates easter bunnies. They were introduced in the late 1800's to spur a fur trade that never took off. Now they just fuck and eat all the crops."They're like an environmental curse," Mark Oldfield of Environment Canterbury told Reuters.So why not just

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1176005792394674542007-04-07T23:35:00.000-04:002007-04-08T00:19:40.746-04:00

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, a Northwest airlines flight headed for Detroit with 180 passengers on board was grounded Saturday, due to suspected terrorist activity. You see, the pilot was reportedly dropping F-BOMBS ALL OVER THE PLACE! Baadda-bing!CNN via AOL News:From the moment the captain stepped aboard Flight 1190 to Detroit, passengers reported hearing him use "animated" language

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175971969875929892007-04-07T14:31:00.000-04:002007-04-08T00:30:56.816-04:00

A new Beijing hotspot is touting the same pickup line as desperate, drunken frat boys: Penis is good for you."Russian dog," says my waitress Nancy."Big dog," I reply."Yes," she says. "Big dog's penis..."This Chinese phenomenon brings diners from all over the world, with some businessmen reportedly paying $5,700 for the exclusivity of eating tiger penis.And does it have any particular potency? "No

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175923838389317512007-04-07T00:55:00.000-04:002007-04-07T01:32:13.876-04:00

50 cent called into New York's Hot 97 radio show "Miss Jones in the Morning" Wednesday to defend his crew member, Tony Yayo, who is up on charges for assaulting a 14 year old boy. What made the appearance newsworthy, however, was his incoherentanti-semitic ramblings.Reports NY Daily News:"Worry about the Je-Je-Je-Jew unit. They're the real goon squad. When the lawyers come out, you'll see what

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175893940832153292007-04-06T16:55:00.000-04:002007-04-06T17:12:20.846-04:00

I know the “Will it Blend” series is old news, but the good folks at Blendtec have really outdone themselves, in sort of an existential/sadistic SAW III kinda way. You see, they’ve gone ahead and blended a camcorder—nothing the Blendtec Total Blender can’t handle, because you see, in the past it’s blended ipods, cellphones, golf clubs, etc. The hook though, is that the camera is on when it

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175874281072587752007-04-06T10:35:00.000-04:002007-04-06T17:14:23.160-04:00

I really like Craigslist. One time, I was searching for a used couch, and I found a computer desk WITH A SHOWER CURTAIN ATTACHED TO IT. The curtain literally enclosed the computer desk. And this was the description: This item is a great space saver with three shelves. What makes this computer desk unique is the shower curtains. Bravo.Recently, an ad in a Seattle area Craigslist stated that

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175790434874024432007-04-05T11:44:00.000-04:002007-04-05T12:28:53.950-04:00

That the only good educational software is the "educational discount" software that you get from the Apple Store.A report put out last night by the US Dept of Education found that educational software had exactly no impact on standardized test scores. Of course, the Washington Post looked deep for answers to this seeming paradox:In classrooms, the programs -- such as "iLearn Math" and "Achieve

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175787862884878282007-04-05T11:30:00.000-04:002007-04-05T11:44:22.896-04:00

According to the BBC, it's more lucrative for hackers to steal World of Warcraft account information than CREDIT CARD INFO!One card can be sold for up to $6 (£3) suggests Symantec, but a WoW account will be worth at least $10. An account that has several high level characters associated with it could be worth far more as the gold and rare items can be sold for real cash.I should probably tell my

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175776751216498162007-04-05T08:22:00.000-04:002007-04-07T21:22:40.280-04:00

I know it's the New York Times, but...The story of Sam Ross has the makings of a ballad, with its heart-rending arc from hardscrabble childhood to decorated war hero to hardscrabble adulthood. hardscrabble? Here's how the American Heritage dictionary defines it: Earning a bare subsistence, as on the land; marginal: the sharecropper's hardscrabble life.Does this really make sense? I think we

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175746978629463742007-04-05T00:07:00.000-04:002007-04-05T00:27:34.013-04:00

I read this book once, and it was about this totalitarian state, and everyone was constantly under surveillance, and it was supposed to improve the quality of life for the law-abiding citizens, but it really just kept the rotting masses in line. I think it was called "2001."Oh wait no, it was today's newspaper.My bad.From the BBC:"Home Secretary John Reid told BBC News there would be some people,

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175741931074057372007-04-04T22:43:00.000-04:002007-04-04T23:10:08.433-04:00

So, if you hadn't noticed, not only is college more expensive than the median home price in this country, but apparently the schools that ensure a lucrative and fulfilling future are also practically impossible to get into, EVEN FOR PEOPLE THAT DID GET IN!"'Many of us who went to Amherst three decades ago know we couldn’t get in now; I know I couldn’t,' said Mr. Statt"So stop feeling bad about

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1175740878008703762007-04-04T22:34:00.000-04:002007-04-04T23:09:36.966-04:00

No, actually I don't think it is. I want it to be so badly.-j

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1162967909973937132006-11-08T01:34:00.001-05:002006-11-08T01:45:58.473-05:00

i tried for a long time to come up with a headline better than "lion mutilates 42 midgets in cambodian ring-fight." the only thing that even gave it a run for its money was "the bible." educate yourself, read the article, and try not to wet yourself with guilty pleasure at the third-world's expense. the sub-title is particularly well-phrased. viva la free press.-j

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1162955293965547052006-11-07T21:51:00.000-05:002006-11-08T01:46:26.673-05:00

There was a time when a man and a woman stayed together through the thick and the thin, the good times and the bad, for richer or poorer. That time was 1630, and women were still considered the property of thier husbands. Now its like 2003 or something, and women can vote, work, and apparently, divorce their husbands, even if they have roles in CSI, and semi-legitmate record deals. America's most

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1162953968836959582006-11-07T20:46:00.002-05:002006-11-08T01:46:49.456-05:00

I know the two people who read this (hi laura and, well, ethan) have been dissapointed in the lack of posts. I've come to rectify this. From now on, every single day there will be a post of meaning and intellect. That's a lie. There will be a post though. That's a lie, also. Every few days, one of us will post something. If we're alive. (Please don't assume if we don't post something we are dead.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1153499653108743102006-07-21T12:28:00.000-04:002007-04-07T12:50:00.180-04:00

Billy Jack off on the system

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1148749254438440632006-05-27T12:53:00.000-04:002007-04-07T12:55:48.463-04:00

i make my ass very available...... im flowing straight from the survival scroll... cut that bitch off!....anybody resisting goddam my ass kissing.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1144640920454851402006-04-09T23:14:00.000-04:002006-04-09T23:48:40.473-04:00

or any other puzzlingly limited ethnicity choice. or el greco. here. (i can't figure out how to save the pictures, someone help me out please)

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1143509042495373842006-03-27T20:19:00.000-05:002006-03-27T20:24:02.530-05:00

secret flutes from days of old. pots of gold. xxl fruit of the loom. this is it.(if you DON'T look at this, you will regret it)

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1142801200174214182006-03-19T15:38:00.000-05:002006-03-19T15:46:40.193-05:00

Times ChangeMinds ChangeSame GoalGotta get the booty

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1141193831407635512006-03-01T01:10:00.000-05:002006-03-01T01:17:11.420-05:00

Gigantopithecus blacki

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1141106119634162772006-02-28T00:47:00.000-05:002006-02-28T00:56:45.156-05:00

it seems this young man in new delhi never got the memo. the open casting call for team america:world police has long since ended. the movie has been shot, edited, and released to a luke warm response. 2 years ago. just shows you how slow news travels, even in this so-called "global village."p.s. war of the worlds has also wrapped filming. this scene looks good though, very "end of the world"

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1140584171854597662006-02-21T23:45:00.000-05:002006-02-21T23:58:29.330-05:00

yup, this is your second hand, one stop shop for everything that is axl and the ever-revolving door that is guns n' roses. props to stereogum.com for diggin up some new dirt on the man, the myth, the bloated legend. such as, for instance, for his 44th birthday bash, he bartered with club owners to party till the break of dawn, offering a listening party for the completed chinese democracy album

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1140583263712294482006-02-21T23:17:00.000-05:002006-02-21T23:45:01.070-05:00

throughout history there have been some incredible one on one battles. tyson vs. hollifield. hitler vs. churchill. ja rule vs. jay-z. paper vs. plastic. today though, these historical prize fights were put to shame by one name: slutskaya. Yes, the formidable women's olympic figure skating competition took place, leaving russia's slutskaya sore and tired from a day of hard riding. she lost to

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1140503807439991402006-02-21T01:30:00.000-05:002006-02-21T01:36:47.453-05:00

i don't think there is anything more interesting than groupie sex videos. there is a special quality that you only get froma boozed up, coked up, talentless ass-clown musicians getting their wangs walloped. with that said, this is pretty much the "cream" of the crop. scott stapp and kid rock, post-joe dirt. enjoy.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1140502042927449312006-02-21T01:02:00.001-05:002006-02-21T01:16:56.836-05:00

Progress Mother Fuckers

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138765567697734832006-01-31T22:42:00.000-05:002006-01-31T22:46:36.240-05:00

population: tyra banks and axl rose.it seems that when axl was singing about the 'jungle,' he was actually constructing an elaborate metaphor, referring to murry's hair wax, costume jewelry, and the norelco adjustable beard and mustache trimmer. although an actual 'chinese democracy,' may be closer than we think, the never-to-be-released gnr album just got a whole lot less interesting, if axl's

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138763949390632302006-01-31T21:13:00.000-05:002007-04-07T12:42:45.750-04:00

You heard it live folks. the president linked iraq to 9/11, declared the u.s. a two party political system, and referred to the soviet union as an evil empire. i don't think i've heard that term since the reagan administration, if i had been born yet, which i wasn't. the president played the bipartisan card, mused on the shortcomings of human/animal hybrids, and even cracked a joke or two. what

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138394478634643992006-01-27T15:37:00.000-05:002006-01-27T15:42:42.116-05:00

" Steppin outta escalades and navigatorswe makin it so they can't fade usso we got to reach our goalspushin platinum sellin gold"

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138392631340855022006-01-27T14:56:00.000-05:002006-01-27T15:30:58.916-05:00

nope, that is Michael Jackson and his son prince Michael II. Apparently jacko cranks the freak-o-meter up to 11 when he leaves the country. nothing is as inconspicuous as dressing like a middle-eastern woman, burka and all, but it looks like that dude in the background knows the deal. michael is obviously teaching his son a school lesson. the security guard is too old to molest.p.s. if someone

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138151723991903272006-01-24T20:04:00.000-05:002006-01-24T20:20:16.373-05:00

it seems the new HRP-2 robot from kawada is actually skilled in opening a fridge and retrieving beverages for its users. flash forward 5 years when these things are in every college dorm in the country, and we have 2 humanoids stealing our beer (roommate and robot). something tells me we are going to breed a race of alcoholic robots that order too much pizza and don't wash their clothes, rather

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138150320564814242006-01-24T19:26:00.000-05:002006-01-24T19:52:00.713-05:00

no, cw doesn't stand for the 'chicken and watermelon network.' it is actually a combination of cbs and warner, according to this nytimes article. both networks hope to send the proverbial 'crack-cocaine' hit to their lagging viewerships by joining forces. this merger opens the door for cross promotion, such as upn's 'everybody hates chris's' chris rock perhaps doing a guest spot on say, wb's '

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138148737444244182006-01-24T19:12:00.000-05:002006-01-24T19:25:37.593-05:00

jessica simpson has always been a 'proactive' spokesperson first, and a musician second, but apparently she's leaving both of these behind in favor of more major motion picture roles. first it was 'the dukes of hazard,' and now you can see her in this candid shot preparing for 'the exorcism of emily rose, part duex.'i never thought i'd say this but maybe jessica is taking her break from former 98

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138133470938322292006-01-24T14:52:00.000-05:002006-01-24T15:11:11.046-05:00

it seems that michael mann's adaptation of the 80's tv series 'miami vice' is getting more than just jeers for the soon-to-be repopularized white double-breasted blazer. according to this article, the production team is also getting shot at. "the cast and crew of the production were filming on the third floor of the hotel when it is believed that an individual fired a weapon outside the property,

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1138054962976025072006-01-23T17:06:00.000-05:002006-01-23T17:22:43.053-05:00

in an unexpected move by ny attorney general eliot spitzer, he has asked ny state senator david a. paterson to join him as his running mate for his 2006 gubernatorial bid. the new york times had this to say, "the unusual early selection of a lieutenant governor candidate carries several political benefits to mr. spitzer..." Obviously, the ny times is not taking into account the strategic

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137980357985647572006-01-22T20:35:00.000-05:002006-01-22T20:43:24.676-05:00

I understand shooting rockets at a cruise ship, but that bro-dog still needs to cut his hang-nail.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137885271862365812006-01-21T17:59:00.000-05:002006-01-21T18:41:43.706-05:00

nah, just kidding. thank you Stereogum.com for this amazing "shot" of mr. leto in his upcoming role as john lennon's killer. just because you gain weight for a role, a la deniro in raging bull, doesn't mean you can act. it just means you can eat. in this case a lot.p.s. ben gibbard wants his v-neck back. zing.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137728706790897352006-01-19T22:43:00.000-05:002006-01-19T22:45:06.790-05:00

I think I got Osama

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137728226200907412006-01-19T22:33:00.000-05:002006-01-19T22:37:06.210-05:00

peste

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137698751730643502006-01-19T14:23:00.000-05:002006-01-19T14:25:51.740-05:00

no, this man is not trying to swim upstream like the majestic atlantic salmon. He is getting pawned by 60 mph wind gusts. That's some mother fuckin' nature. truth.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137648917763823442006-01-19T00:28:00.001-05:002006-01-19T00:59:17.220-05:00

absolutkravitzi don't know who is responsible for this, but the simple fact that lenny is trying to plug that cord into his nipple speaks for itself.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21186499.post-1137647748035024202006-01-19T00:11:00.000-05:002006-01-19T00:18:17.886-05:00

this is ethan and jeff's blog. we will scour the internet to find the most bizarre and interesting spectacles available through the wonders of modern technology. Or we may sit in our room and play halo. and order pizza. we will also coin terms. and occasionally speak in the third person.

jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15655242475010097040noreply@blogger.com1